dear ego-filled kenneth

by Kenneth B., 14

My dude.
You’re not missing out on anything.
And if you were, you’re going to regret it.
Every single bit.

You see, the world is a place that is amazingly linear—when something becomes society’s definition of “normal,” you either get with the program, or become the weird one.

Nowadays, people are always sitting there thinking about their last post, being afraid of missing out.

You don’t need a girlfriend.

All the girls you thought about are now glued to a screen. You don’t want that. And no exceptions, every one of them, including that one—yup, that one too (sadly)—they all have this addiction.

So look, stop chasing girls, and start chasing friends. You can get a phone, but you’ll have a better time chasing your adventures on your feet than on the internet.

Enjoy yourself, and see how well you do.

The Wiser, Future Kenneth
Red Bank, New Jersey